It is a gratifying fact, and shows the most praiseworthy management and care on the part of establishment owners, that not a man was killed or materially hurt or unhurt in the recent celebrations in the pub located southwest of Yorkness Town during an astounding show by PENNY WHISKEY. It seems almost incredible that such an immense crowd could be contained In such a frenzy as was whipped up, to such a degree that even after turning off the lights, and making loud bleating noises into the microphone in a Vain attempt to drive the revelers home, that no one paid the slightest Bit of Attention, and in fact began a rousing chant of "BRING THE PIRATES TO THE FORE"; possibly a reference to the band in an attempt for an encore, a lynching, or both.

A Bagpiper in the crowd, realizing the fever pitch of excitement and sensing the managementís growing distress at the noise, furtive fondlings, and breaking glass, leapt to the stage and enchanted the masses with a cacophonic howl emanating from his tool of trade, and, beckoning Furiously with his elbows while he blew ferociously into his mighty chanter, led the party go-ers out the door and down the Street, allowing the band PENNY WHISKEY to escape unscathed through a rabbit hole behind the stage and allowing the owners to finally bolt the doors and phone their Insurance Providers. The current where-abouts of the piper or the Crowds is unkn own at this time: they were last seen rounding the corner of Fifth and Pike, approaching the wharf, singing loudly and decidedly off key to songs that had no resemblance or Connection whatsoever to what the brave piper was playing. Shortly afterwards several vehicles were observed speeding to that location containing various peoples of the local constabulary. No further word has been received.




We would like to announce the newest

Penny Whiskey CD!!

Free Booos



release date Oct 20, 2018

Fan favorites of our Halloween show!




Bad Moon Rising

They're Coming to Get You Barbara

Re: Your Brains

Rocky Horror tunes

and much more!!





Irish Fight.

Just before the train started to cross

the Portage Bridge last Saturday, the open cars were occupied mostly by

Irish workmen about the Bridge.

The Bridge hands, who probably felt

a little above the dirt hands, claimed

the front car, and a general fight

ensued in which twenty or thirty

were engaged, first on the car, then

on the ground. Several were more or

less bruised, and one, a ringleader had his head badly cut with a stone.

The fight was finally quelled,

and most of them crawled back upon

the cars; but not without various significant side nods of the head and lowering of the brows.

~ Wyoming County Mirror August 17-1852

An eastern State notable reportedly

fell from the OldManís Bridge one

night last week, and was reportedly killed. 

He was kept there under guard,

and it is said he was partly

intoxicated, and had probably been asleep

when he fell.

Further News on his where-abouts are unknown

at the time of this printing

and though there have been no further sightings

or phone calls to his mom,

we have heard no more about it,

and we think probably it was not so.


*All news here, be it true, implied or virtually without redeeming qualities whatsoever are here only because we knew you would read it.

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